Growing up in Nottinghill Gate

I was 5 and my brother, 4 when our mother died, and Dad took us to live with his mother (originally from Bermondsey) at no 8 Aubrey Walk, Nottinghill Gate, W8 sometime early in 195

My grandfather worked for the British water board situated at the corner of Aubrey Walk nearly at the junction with Campden Hill Road. The water board, had a tower (since knocked down, but for a while also used as an antena for radio) and was fascinating for David and I to occasionally visit, where my grandfather managed the huge diesel fuelled engines (which we believe led to his lung cancer) that powered the water distribution. Behind this was a large grass covered undeground reservoir. This, David and I frequently managed to get onto (although forbidden to) by climbing up over what was at one time a chicken coop, over a 12' tall wall to get on to the reservoir and play. Dad would also use this shortcut to get to the tennis club.

The waterboard owned a small row of terrace houses including no 8. There was only a toilet, no bathroom. 3 bedrooms. A sitting room, no one ventured into unless there was a special occasion. a common room (can't think what this would have been called) with a fireplace which was lit daily from November through April. Then coal fires stopped regardless of how cold it still was. Next to this was the kitchen where we all ate, and a pantry in which David and I would have our toys and play.

My grandfather would use the shower at the waterboard and my grandmother who did housework for the Tennants who lived opposite in a 4 storey house adjacent to a two story house and would use their bathroom once a week.

David and I would have a bath each Saturday in a tin bath in front of the fire when it was winter.

Bed sheets were changed every week. Mattresses were made of feathers and required a lot of shaking to rearrange the feathers from sleeping in them all week.

My grandparents had the front bedroom, I shared the other front bedroom with my Aunt Jacqueline, and David and Dad shared the back bedroom.

Because David was not yet of school age, he was sent to live with our Irish grandmother for about 18 months shortly after the marriage of Tricia and Bill.

I went to Fox's infant school and then to the adjacent St. Georges Junior School. It was not a long walk down Aubrey Walk, across Campden Hill Road on to Kensington Park Road, where the two schools were situated close to the end of that road.

Adjacent to this small terrace of three houses, was the Campden Hill Tennis Club.

There was/is a beautiful old church (situated about a third of the street from Hillsleigh Road, where my Aunt Jacqueline and Uncle Doug were married when I was about 9, and Dad (who had by now remarried - June 1 we refer to her as, who had two children of her own, Debbie (3) and Stephen (4). David, Dad and I joined this family and left to live in a council house in Stonebridge Park. Quite a different area than Notting Hill Gate! I had what was called a "posh" accent developed from listening to all the similar "posh" accents around me.

In 1953, my Aunt Tricia and Uncle Bill married only about 4 days after my mother died. Weddings for poor people could not be postponed because of the cost. Aunt Jacqueline and I were bridesmaids. I remember that the reception was in a hall with a gallery, which all the children had fun running up the stairs and around and down again. By the end of the evening my long blue net dress had a very tattered hem!

It was a relatively happy 3-4 years for David and me, although Nan Munday was pretty strict and firmly believed that children should be seen and not heard. We were pretty fortunate with holidays as we would generally go to the Isle of Wight for a week and then David and I would go to Liscaroll, County Cork, where our Irish grandparents lived.

David and I used to come home from school for lunch, which was the same menu each day of the week, ending on Friday with fish, because our mother had been Roman Catholic.

Dad would generally take us alternate Sundays to a Roman Catholic church and a Church of England one.

A car accident

My car accident of September 9, 2008 was finally settled in mediation in September 2010 - a long time - yes, a very, very long time. And I was forced into mediation or faced the alternative of having to wait until 2011 to go to court,because the complaint was not filed until February 2010 rather than before the end of 2009, as I had been advised it would be. And I needed so badly for the entire accident to be behind me (which of course it had been!), that I agreed.
I had never had a car accident before (except for minor dings I caused myself - gate posts moving, street lights, that sort of thing!) and it completely altered my life for quite a while. I stopped driving for about 9 months.
I was simply waiting at a traffic light on Beverly and Curson (LA), one car in front of me. Fortunately, I always leave a distance between the one in front and me, so did not hit that.
I remember it as a huge impact (it was a Continental Navigator and I don't know how many tons they weigh) and I had no idea what had happened. Perhaps the world had fallen down.
Because I was looking in the direction of the light, I saw my boyfriend's hands end up on the glove compartment. My beloved dog lying in the back was thrown forward. And of course, because I was looking to my right, my body was thrown backwards and forwards in a small area behind the wheel. Hence over 2 years later, I still suffer daily pain from whiplash in the right side of my neck and my right shoulder and upper arm. Sometimes my brachial plexus plays up, and nerve ending pain is not something I enjoy!
I got out of my car, a volvo station wagon and the entire rear end was smashed in.
A very beautiful young woman was coming towards me on the phone and I asked her if she was ok. She said she was fine.
As an aside there, was also the very rude man who stopped as he was driving past and yelled at us to get out of the road. I did not mince words with him, just assertively suggested he get on his way, which he could do because he wasn't behind us, however, alongside us, hence blocking traffic behind him! Glad that I am not married to him, that's for sure!
It is not the habit of British people to think of lawyers when they have accidents, however, Farmers Insurance (who insure both parties) acted swiftly.
I received a call the next morning. I gave as best account of what happened as one can do, given the shock. Was I okay? Yes, I answered. A British understatement.
An evaluator came to see the volvo, talked about it being a right off and maybe I'd get about $100. My insurance agent was not optimistic either.
Gradually as shock wore off, the pain in my body increased and I did what I never thought I would ever have to do, I called a lawyer friend and he recommended someone expert at dealing with car accidents. A different breed of lawyers to the ones I frequently negotiated with when I was running Chrysalis Music and managing artists.
Went to the ortho doc my lawyer suggested. A cold man. He agreed that I should see my chiropractor, who at that stage I hadn't seen in over 2 1/2 years, since he was able to correct the problem with my pelvis. I often felt that I had no control over the process whatsoever.
Within a few weeks I was in constant daily pain, sometimes so bad that I simply had to go to sleep to get away from it.
I was afraid to drive. Something I never expected, although there had been times in my low Honda Prelude being on freeways with crazy suv drivers, when I felt vulnerable.
Altogether I had about six weeks of chiropractic work and massage, interrupted by a stomach virus. This came back to haunt me, as to why there were gaps in my treatment - I don't know of anyone who would visit a chiropractor to be adjusted while suffering from a stomach virus, but perhaps there are such people - who knows.
Other pain started and I found that my sciatic nerve (I thought I'd pulled a muscle in my butt, until I saw my GP for a general check up and looked at the large poster of a skeleton), so back to the orth doc, who sent me for mri's.
More delay ensued, as he telephoned me with the results of the mri and without mincing words informed me I had a brain tumor. I politely said thank you and just sat there for an evening wondering. And who calls a patient and tells them that they have a brain tumor over the phone? Made an appointment with Cedars-Sinai.
I thought that being totally blameless in the accident, since sitting stopped at a red light is what you're supposed to be doing and there would be an easy settlement!
But Farmers Insurance are not a good company (web sites dedicated to suits against them - they also own All State and 21st Century and a class action suit for discimination against Mormons)and they argued that all of the pain I was experiencing was because of my age! Well I was 59 when the accident happened, could play tennis, lift things with ease, dry my hair without pain and work out, and wow - suddenly age had caught up with me????
Now I paint with a neck brace, and also when using the computer, or lifting things, otherwise the pain reaches the unbearable level pretty quickly.
My life to that point had not been easy because of my mental challenges, but I was finally getting my life back together. I felt free to move ahead and do what I really wanted to do at school (evil stepmother comes in here, but no description) and that was paint. I was no longer able to work in an office around people, because ptsd, panic disorder and chronic depression makes it almost impossible to do so. I never know what will trigger ptsd, when my mind simply fragments and I feel as if I am looking through a kaleidescope of shards of glass.
The accident took all my progress to a better life away and I had to start again.
The small amount of money I shall receive because of Farmer's aggressive stance and the delay in filing a complaint, is pitiful. Although my lawyer is so pleased with the result they achieved, they've actually put it on whatever websites lawyers put such "achievements". I shall certainly never recommend them.
However, I am on the move forward again.
I intend to let Craig Ferguson and his wife know about the small amount I was supposed to have received by the end of October, although the end of October somehow seems to mean sometime the beginning of November to my lawyer. But then they frequently said one thing, which they later said they hadn't and anyone who knows me from working with me, will remember my ability to remember contracts provisions without having to look at one, what decision was made in a marketing meeting months before, etc.
I am not letting Craig and his wife, Megan know to get more money from them, but I would like them to know how shabbily Farmers Insurance treaed me.
So on to the art store to buy some matting board, and mounting board and then to the post office to mail some sold giclees to the UK.

Perhaps my luck is finally changing! And naivete

I am almost afraid to say this, as it's been a truly awful year! Each month something difficult (to say the least) has happened and I have ended that month, hoping the next one will be better, but no.

However the end of this month is turning out okay. Doesn't totally make up for the car accidents (3 - someone smashing past me down a side street and breaking my driver's side wing mirror, reversing into someone I think was driving too fast through a USPS drive through car park, and scraping the side of my pickup while trying to get out of a tiny spot, I probably shouldn't have attempted to get into in the first place, due to two large expensive cars taking up more that 2 adjacent parking spaces!), getting locked out twice, costing me $150, which is more than the $130 I received for the few CDs, Freak Beat Record bought, but retained the three boxes containing over 700 CDs, and not suggesting to me that I could sell them to another Amazon or internet seller, but doing so themselves, thereby immediately making up the small sum they paid me.

It is ridiculous that at my age I am still naive about people in the music business.

Learning that the check I should have received after the mediation by the end of October, will be held by my lawyer (more about her another blog) until sometime next week. Which, to the best of my knowledge is not the end of October! Guess they'll keep the interest!

However, my opinion of Amoeba has gone up, after meeting Jim and Fred, both of whom were really pleasant. Jim (their expert on RIAA awarded discs - I am almost tempted to get copies of all of the ones I should have received - Huey Lewis, other Blondie, etc) was pleased to pay me a fair price for my four platinum discs and a few albums I left out of selling to Freak Beat, because they'd only give me a $1 each for them.

Having tea with a good friend, who is Chairman of the PRS, who has bought a Tea with Klee giclee (he'll hang in his office there), driving back home praying all the way that I would make it to the gas station. I did just! My engine stopped, literally as I crossed their entrance.

Selling two Tea with Klee giclees to the boss, who was my best mentor, Bob Wise of Music Sales - treated me as a woman, an equal, and one with intelligence.

One to a great, but now retired artist manager, John Woodruff and his wife Christine, who became really good friends and got me an invitation to the most prestigeous 3M boat in the Sydney Harbour on Dec31 '84/Jan 1 '85) during my 3 week stay in Australia after I resigned from Chrysalis.
I was asked to stay on for a few months as (which they did not tell me, otherwise I may not have resigned since all senior staff received shares since they then went public) because of Terry Ellis selling his share of Chrysalis to his co-founder, Chris Wright and my loyalty to the company. They needed me to stay on to show that they had a top woman executive, because they wanted not to lose another top executive with TCE leaving, and also because I was really the only top woman exec that the company employed and they needed to show they were "equal op employers" (which they were not) for the British share offering. It's amazing how naive I have been in respect of certain people, for someone so good at business and negotiating!

Friends and letting go of family

It's been a tough year and each month something has happened, and October was the final straw (1 car accident my first ever that is my fault in 43 years of driving - well aside from the dings I caused myself, the loss of a friendship that I valued and trusted - I am reminded that a therapist once told me that you can only judge when to trust a person at the time you need to trust them - not helped by Freak Beat Records, to whom I sold my CDs and [who I shall never recommend], having found that Amazon selling had taken over my life), locked out twice, another car ding, banned from selling on Amazon for life [not a huge loss, I only had two CDs listed on there still]), so I am looking forward to 2011, although still hoping for a good month this year. And hoping the friend, Marv who reminded me of the Mayan prediction that 2011 will be the end of the world, is wrong.
I have come to the sad realization that only my friends really know me and perhaps that is the same for many families.
I have after all spent over half my life in the US. No I am not yet a citizen, however, am starting the process.
I am experiencing deep grief through recent goings-on with my immediate family, as well as still, the loss of my beloved dog, Anita.
I gave so much in terms of money, furniture, time and jobs to help one.
I don't blame that person for not remembering. They have gone through enough health crisises and a painfilled marriage. But I have lost the only person who has been in my life since their birth, and I cannot believe what they have done and said.
But the pain I feel is so powerful, that it is almost overwhelming and even painting is not helping that much (and I am about to have to start cutting matts, which I hate doing!), when it usually stills my mind and the ptsd.
Whenever anything happens with a family member, I get thrown back in to the memory less childhood and adolesence, because the abuse and whether I saw my mother dead or not, is too much for my mind, so it has kindly given me a blank.
Yes, there are some good ones, and a few years until I was 9 where there are happy pictures, particularly of me running around the fields of Ireland with my brother and my second cousin and staying with my Irish grandmother, who was love personified and gave unconditional love.
I have realized that what I thought was a family, isn't one that I was ever really a part of. And that I have always been the odd one out.
So on November 4, I am finally going to address the family issue and learn how to just let go of it all.
Yet remain very grateful that I was able to help my beautiful nieces, Sami and Vanessa.
I would do it all again, just for them to finally be safe, which they are.
And for that I remain very grateful that I was given that particular opportunity.
And now I have to matt a giclee, Anita's Garden for the Stray Cat Alliance, and deliver it for their silent auction today.
Wish me good fortune with letting go.

Carlene Carter (Unbreakable Heart by Benmont Tench)

One Midem (Cannes gathering of the music business every January), I met Ed Tichner. Shortly after I moved to California to develop the Chrysalis publishing companies (until then administered, although had the great song seeker and song plugger, Marv Goodman), which had a variety of names, and I got fed up with listing them all, so named them The Chrysalis Music Group USA, a name still used today. And on a different tack for a minute, really annoyed Jack Craigo (my nemesis at Chrysalis and the reason I resigned after trying to work for somebody, who as another well known publisher, Mike Stewart, said - just didn't like people!) as he thought that it was a better name for the record company.

Anyway, back to Ed and the party that Chrysalis in threw in 1978 to announce my appointment and the development of the publishing companies, which became one of the leading independents and his mentioning a singer/songwriter he managed, Carlene.

Yes, I responded I'd love to meet her. And after listening to some demos she and I had our first meeting, a lunch at the then incredibly successful Le Dome, managed and owned by Michel and Eddie, who and their staff always treated me so well, even tho' for the first year of using my expense account there, I only ever tipped 10% (that being the norm in the UK).

My first impression was of a beautiful sensual woman, with a golden aura, and she has the most stunning eyes. No I am not gay. A golden girl.

We did not stop laughing throughout the lunch, and a friendship started that lasted until 2003, with a few breaks when we didn't see each other.

Anyway, I signed Carlene because I believed she was a star and because I loved her songwriting. No, I did not know of her incredible music heritage, until one of our lawyers putting the contract together asked me how I had managed to sign someone from a legendary family so soon after arriving in LA. I negotiated the deal, but Terry Ellis, being Terry Ellis wouldn't let me sign that one - he had to, even though he'd had nothing to do with me finding her. He could be so full of himself sometimes!

Her first album for Chrysalis was "Too Proud", which I still have a cassette of. Not a great record for her and did not showcase her well, however, contains some excellent songs.

I needed to find a new apartment, and Carlene heard of this and invited me to become her room mate at the (at one time) infamous 1580 Queens Road (probably the title to my autobiography, should I ever get around to writing it!) and I moved in. The day I did, she left to go on the road and before leaving, advised me not to be afraid of the ghost, he was friendly! This together with a member of my staff who kept phoning me my first night and warning me to call the police if I heard any noises. Oh, and if I heard something to tell the police that I had a gun. Why, I asked? Well, if the police know you have a gun they respond more quickly, which made absolutely no sense to me, as I thought they'd act quicker to someone in danger without any defence. Silly of me! And he added that if I ever did get a gun and shot a person, I was to drag them into the house. Odd conversation for me to have and I didn't get much sleep that first night.

That house was so easy to get into, and one of my boyfriends (a guy from the Chrysalis mailroom, David, very attractive and a great tennis player) delighted in getting in and coming up behind me and startling the beejeebers out of me!

Anyway, Carlene and I had only a few months living there together as she was engaged to Nick Lowe and had decided to move to the UK! Great, I've signed a songwriter who is now not going to live in the US.

However, the house was always full of so many musicians and I never knew who I was going to meet as I came out of my bedroom, or home from work. Xene was one and I still can't remember whether I met Viggo Mortenson, who she was married to. Will kick myself if I ever get to meet that gorgeous and talented man, Viggo Mortenson and find out that I did, but don't remember!

So, now Carlene was in the UK and married to Nick Lowe (I missed their wedding at the famous Motel on Santa Monica, as I had already drunk too much to get there!) and writing songs with his and other British music influences. Also some pretty raunchy lyrics and as I told her on one of her trips back to LA, I wasn't going to be able to get a cover with Anne Murray for instance!

But back to the times we shared in LA. Like visiting the Rainbow Room late at night for something to eat. One time, the poor guy (we'd already eaten and he hadn't yet) had his pizza purloined, and Carlene and I drove off along Sunset laughing at our theivery! We always laughed so much together.

And I loved to come home and find CC at her beautiful black piano, in our huge curved ceiling sitting room, which you stepped down into. It was to the side of a beautiful curved top large window.

Can't leave out the first time I met her lovely daughter, Tiffany. It was early morning and I was sitting drinking tea, trying to wake up slowly and this small beautiful child appeared, put her hand on my knee and told me the story of her life to that date (think she was about 3-4) and how she missed her brother, Jackson.

Nor can I miss out Carlene's effect on men! Ones that did, usually were left speechless, and I clearly remember going into a 7-11 and bumping into two managers, John Woodruff and Ray Hearn of Icehouse an Australian band (led by Iva Davies) we signed to Chrysalis. These two usually talkative (particularly John) were awed into nonsensical speech! And another, many years later in London looking for a deal for her, when we were visiting Chris Briggs at his office when he worked for A & M. He came back from lunch with one of the Police's engineer, Pete (and I cannot remember his last name), who was struck speechless altogether!

And I remember the time we travelled to New York together, via Chicago for some reason,] where she got off the plane with one of The Stones and I completed the next bit of the trip without her!

The first time meeting her parents!! Was at a dinner, in an Italian restaurant and other guests included Steve Martin. At this time I had moved to New York, and Johnny and June were in New York, Carlene had "C'est ci bon!" out on CBS (I won't mention Frank Deleo's behavior, but it was pretty not good and I'll say no more) and I was (while also being Senior VP of Chrysalis under the awful Craigo) managing her - needless to say I could not find any real evidence thatFrank did much promoting of the album.

After the dinner, Johnny wanted to meet this woman who was taking care of his daughter, and I was summoned to lunch! Trembling like a shy child, I turned up at an ice cream parlour on Central Park South. Johnny was truly a delight and so easy to be with. And I was approved of.

One Christmas (1983 I think), June was in town with Carlene and probably Tiffany and she heard that I had nowhere to go for Christmas, so she literally dragged me off at short notice to go to Nashville with them. We were late for the plane as we walked through a JFK terminal with so much baggage! Got on the plane late, and there was an announcement, "sorry for the delay, however, we had some late baggage to load". To which June responded, "see, there was no reason for rushing", not thinking that the luggage in question was ours!

What an amazing Christmas (except that Johnny was in hospital). They celebrated Christmas Eve and June arranged the seating. Told Rodney Crowell to sit next to me, which was immediately countermanded by Roseanne insisting he did not, but came next to her. Funny woman, and not one of my favorite people.

Not like Rosie, Carlene's beautiful half sister, who sadly died the same year as Carlene's long time partner, Howie Epstein, June and Johnny. She delighted me by showing me around the circular house (which I constantly got lost in, as it was not only circular but went down on different floors depending where you were!) and telling me of the time Prince Charles asked her out for lunch.

June was a great collector of four poster beds and the house was filled with them. Carlene and I shared this huge room with two of these, as well as racks of clothes. Think that was the first time I ever visited a Wal Mart, which is a store I never use because I don't appreciate their treatment of staff! Didn't know that at the time.

Remember going to visit Johnny (a bit reluctantly as I thought he probably had enough visitors without adding me) in hospital and saying hello, then moving to his side guest room. He popped in to get a cola out of the fridge, and I said you seem surrounded by women - he just sheepishly grinned and agreed.

Then there was the trip when Carlene moved back to Nashville to live in her grandmother, Maybelle Carter's house. What a lovely house and CC loved to ride around on the electric lawnmower. Would never let me have a go!!

Which brings me back in time to our trip to Jamaica, just after I left Chrysalis in 1985 and had only recently returned from a 3 week trip to Australia. We missed the flight! Not uncommon for CC, and sometimes me. Partly my fault, as Bill Aucoin and JP Bommel organized a leaving party for me (I was leaving New York) and that went on late into the night and I clearly remember John Waite phoning me at 6 am to apologize for not making the party, but there was someone there he didn't want to be around. Couldn't he have waited just a bit longer to tell me this!

Anyway, it was the days of white powder and CC had this enviable ability to sleep regardless, which she did promptly on boarding the plane. I, on the other side, spent the entire journey awake worrying! And when I arrived at the other end, was glad that only June showed up to collect us. Seeing Johnny for the first time at their beautiful home in Rose Bay, I couldn't speak, just mumbled and said I needed to sleep. Remember waking up at one point with a flying cockroach walking across my face and I was too tired to do anyting other than brush it off. Oh, and I was in another 4 poster bed, as was CC on the other side of the room. She was there to appear with Johnny and June at a benefit for the children's home they supported and we tacked a 2 week vacation on to it.
The first night we had dinner; and that was in a dining room completely wood panelled with no windows; and first one cockroach flew across above our heads, followed by another, and after the 12th, we all fled the room - very funny, I promise.

After Johnny and June left to return to the US, Carlene and I moved into the nearby hotel. This was cheaper (and also paid for by the charitable foundation) than hiring security for us to stay in the house, although we could drive to it using the golf carts, as there was a course between that and the hotel. But she'd never let me drive the cart, not once! And our bar bill was enormous, because although all kinds of alcohol was much cheaper, our choice for dinner was wine, which was very expensive! My paying a sum of $2000 remains firmly in my brain

It was really amusing to watch the men in business groups staying at the hotel see Carlene, some of whom dared to speak with us, until their wives appeared on the horizon and they were off like a shot.

Smoked quite a lot of pot there, and that makes me giggle at everything for a while then fall into a peaceful sleep, however, Carlene would get in her bed and start to read to me. Throughout the two weeks we spent there, we never ever had a morning without listening to "The Boys of Summer"! It still reminds me of a lovely vacation, with much laughter and fun. And hearing her singing as she walked around the hotel floors.

After returning to the UK in 1985 for a while, I stayed with Carlene, Tiffany and Nick at their great three floored house in Chiswick (had stayed there on previous business trips to the UK, including one when I fled New Yorkand Craigo (arrived and looked in the mirror and I had travelled the entire journey with black streaks of mascara down my face), fully intending to resign, but was persuaded not to by Doug D'Arcy and promises never kept by TCE), when she was starring in Pump Boys and Dinettes with Kiki Dee and Paul Jones. I used to have to find all the quickest short cuts to get her to the theatre on time.

Around this time Nick and Dave Edmonds broke up their group, Rockpile, on their way to the airport to do a show in Scandanavia.

The house was always full of musicians and songwriting, a parrot, Nelson (became my aunt's and uncle's when Carlene moved back to the US) and a cat and a lot of alcohol was consumed! Plus Tiffany would practice a clarinet, I think early in the morning and it was a race between which of Carlene or I would ask her please to stop.

John Hiatt came for Sunday lunch and Nick got it into his head to get up early and put the beef in, which meant that Carlene and I who had both had a good night's drinking had to hurry up preparing the rest of the lunch. Think it took her an hour to make mashed potatoes and cheese! John arrived (nice man), I had one martini (Nick came from a "proper" English family) a little food, then disappeared to my room for a long sleep.

Another time, Clem Burke came to stay when he was working with Dave Stewart (who I knew from my days at Elton's and Bernie's Rocket Records) producing Bob Dylan. Clem is a lovely guy and he'd got into what I think remains a keep fit regime for him, so was eating properly, taking vitamins, running and turning up for his sessions properly dressed! A far cry from the Blondie band member I first got to know.

I won't mention the name of another drummer who stayed one night and came down the stairs and surprised the au pair and me as he was completely naked. A lovely guy, however, very tall and it was hard to keep ones eyes at a different level. She and I ended up backed into a corner in the long kitchen with our eyes still raised to the ceiling!

Nick and Carlene separated, and she was so heartbroken, it was sad to witness and to help her pack up her belongings the same. We did share an apartment she rented in another part of London until she decided to move back to LA.

And Carlene met Howie Epstein, and with Howie she realized her full potential as an amazing country singer/songwriter with edge. I lent her my last 2000 sterling to do some recordings with him. Which lead to her being signed to WB (I was fortunate enough to know Jim Ed Norman head of the Nashville label and a fine gentleman) I negotiated the deal with a really good business affairs guy (whose name I wish I could remember) in LA, and I know it was a good deal for her, still have a copy of it and I am also still proud of what I provisions I succeeded in getting her, particularly her right to re-record any of the songs she recorded for WB and later Giant..

Won't write too much about the relationship with Chrysalis US, now being managed by Tom Sturges, except to say that I was able to negotiate a $25,000 advance out of him, the release of Carlene from the Chrysalis publishing agreement I originally negotiated and the settlement of all songs she still owed the company down to 2 and 1/2 on her album "I Fell In Love". I will, however, repeat part of the angry telephone conversation he and I had, when he called me, absolutely furious as the album came out and the first single started climbing the charts rapidly and reviews were amazing (album was nominated for a Grammy), that we had not offered him a chance to re-sign her. We had each tried separately to reach him several times!!!! He ended up yelling that he was going to make sure that he got one of her songs used for a tampon ad, to which I responded, any cover would be good - thank you!

It was too difficult to manage Carlene and remain in the UK, and I didn't have the money to fly backwards and forwards. So we tried a co-management arrangement, which didn't work. And in the end she signed with Bill (cannot remember his name, however, he was one of the best) for the USA and Australia (the latter pissed me off, since the reason she was known there was partly due to my work on her behalf) and I was supposed to continue for the rest of the world. But that didn't really work out, although WB UK and I worked out a great marketing plan for her to promote her album in the UK - she just could never find the time.

I remember so clearly flying into Nashville to see Carlene perform at a show during whatever they call the country equivalent of NARM. I sat in the first row and cried. Her voice was so very beautiful. Seeing her after the show, she was furious! I asked why - she'd had no stage sound through her ear piece so had to sing using her voice in her head, a rare talent to be able to keep in key without stage monitor sound.

Our last few years together as friends were intermittent visits. It was too hard for me to see her in such a state. And much of those years she was often public news. I visited her in Santa Fe on my 50th (persuaded by a mutual friend that her life was in danger), then didn't see her again for quite a while, until sometime in 2002 she asked me to manage her again and we were in touch by phone while she was back living with Johnny and June.

Sadly, Howie died in February 2003. He was one of the kindest men I've even known as well as one of the saddest. He and I were good friends and I have always treasured that, as he didn't choose many. We had had dinner maybe 1 or 2 years earlier, one night at the Hamburger Hamlet (off Sunset Blvd on Doheny) just the two of us. He told me quite a lot about himself, including his sadness about his family and that his brothers only ever wanted things from him. As well as his concern for Carlene's health.

Anyway, I flew to Nashville immediately, and the horror started - Howie's brothers letting themselves into the Santa Fe home Howie and Carlene loved so much, taking whatever they could. Fortunately, Howie had a guest staying who called and I was able to speak to the Sherriff who had been called in. It took some explanatation, however, I think yet again my English accent gave me some advantage and he accepted that as Carlene was co-owner of the property, the brothers should not be allowed to take anything, although that didn't quite work out and certain things could not be found by the time Carlene and I arrived there there the next day.

What a completely crazy time that was, although being in that house with the beautiful scenery somewhat made up for it. But visits from the police about there possibly being bodies buried on the land, were to say the least worrisome.

Carlene had to leave me there to go and do something, and I was left alone with three dogs, two german shepherds, one of them Anita and the other a small male mixture, called Pup. Anita never messed with Pup, but she was definitely an alpha female and the other german shepherd had to bow down somewhat. It was really amusing sleeping with Pup, since he preferred whatever pillow I chose, and we had to fight over it for me to win!

Being warned by the police of all the drug activities and dealers that had been suspected of being on the property from time to time, one of them being someone they also suspected of being a murderer, I got the electric gates fixed. Did have a lovely Native American guarding me a few nights, until I thought about it and learned how a 38 works. Wasn't worried for me, but for the dogs. Anyway, there were always odd visitors popping up there, and just after the gates were fixed a car drove up (how did he get through the gate!). I felt no fear because I had two german shepherds, and Anita immediately went up to his car window and greeted him. I asked his name - aha, the man the police had been making inquiries about and there's one of the dogs I hope will protect me all lovey dovey with him! How I kept a straight face and a calm voice, I don't know, but was very, very glad when he left. If the Pope had turned up next, I would not have been surprised.

During the time Carlene left, we heard that the two brothers had broken into Howie's and Carlene's LA home and I was driven in 6 hours in pouring rain to join her there. And they'd taken her grandmother's guitar. It was a truly awful time for both Carlene (obviously far more devastating for her) and me. I moved in with, then June died and Carlene went back to Nashville. That night, Anita gave birth to 8 puppies all over Howie's shoes!

The first lawyer we chose did not do a good job, and we were only able to get back certain items they'd taken as Carlene had seen them in the brothers' car as we arrived for a meeting with them and the lawyer. Those were Carlene's linens. They gave those back.

Carlene remained in Nashville and I did the best I could, including representing her at court to try and stop an eviction notice. I only succeeded in getting more time. Also negotiated a deal for her with The Chieftains (a band I'd worked with at Chrysalis) for Bandit of Love, as a duet with them.

Carlene arrived back a few days before eviction and we had a very short time span to move her belongings. I do not know if she ever found all her beautiful stage clothes. She'd managed to get some stuff stored at a friend's warehouse for musicians. And some of her stuff fitted into my storage.

The lawyers fired themselves, and I found another, who I dealt with for a little while, until Carlene took over. So I still don't know if she ever got anything out of the Santa Fe house I worked so hard at trying to keep for her.

And sadly, as one of her song titles, "Love Goes Without Saying Goodbye". The last time I saw my one of my two very best friends, and someone I regarded as my sister, was when she and her husband to be, came to take that out of my storage space. I still hold a grudge against Joe for the way he moved my stuff all over the place and in instances far too high for me to reach! Carlene talked to me and said she owed me an explanation. None has been forthcoming.

However, Carlene will always remain in my heart and I will always remember her as a golden child.

Stevie Wonder, and Innervisions and The Rainbow, London

I just decided to see whether my totally and unbelievably scratched 1973 original CD release of Innervisions actually still plays.
Did give it a wash and it played perfectly all the way through!!
Innervisions was such a part of my early history in the music business. I cannot think how many times I listened to it. It encapsulated so many emotions and feelings for me.
I was fortunate enough to be invited by a journalist friend to go to the Rainbow Theatre in North London when Stevie Wonder did two shows in one evening. Probably around 73/74 or maybe 72 - I know I should look it up!
We arrived and I found myself first row, centre seat. Turned in complete disgust to my journalist friend and said what awful seats, the sound is going to be awful!!
It absolutely was not. I was virtually on the stage with Mr. Wonder and his band and he was probably about 6' - 7' away from me. By the end I was completely high (no, no substance involved) and on the way out saw the head of Motown UK talking with Paul McCartney. Who I very rudely interrupted and started speaking to John. But was making no sense as all my words were inverted and muddled. He'd never seen me like that, normally a reasonably sane woman and a very capable conversationalist. Asked me to slow down! I managed to get out a plea to stay for the second show, which he gladly granted me, one because he was a good man, and two he could get back to talking to Mr. McCartney.
Throughout my career I have been to many, many shows. Saw the Beatles in a small theatre in North London, and U2 at Radio City, and many other great acts. Also saw Stevie Wonder when he played Rock the Vote, and when he played one of Joni Mitchell's songs (again only a few feet away from where I sat at a table at either a BMI or ASCAP Awards, with a Tribute to Joni Mitchell as the highlight).
Amazing, amazing performer.
And he is only one of only two celebrities that I didn't know and actually walked up to (we were passing each other at LAX airport) him and with a grumpy looking minder glaring at me, told Mr. Wonder how amazing his Rainbow show was. He was delighted and kept repeating "you were at the Rainbow". A treasured moment.

Selling my CDs on Amazon.com -v- half.com (E Bay's)

Well, it was really, really hard to let go of my 1200 + collection of vinyl albums. A large majority of which, are in great condition and each contained a memory. However, Ed Eckstein had recommended Freak Beat Records (after I had ventured into Amoeba and encountered an extremely rude young man, who treated Savoy Brown with disdain as well as myself - and I shall never ever shop at Amoeba again!) and a lovely man, Tom arrived at the hopefully temporary housing I live in (tho' it's been 2 years now).
We'd probably met when I was running Chrysalis Music Group, and he was at Gem Records. Certainly must have been in the same places at the same times, or as Dr John might say right time, wrong place.
As we went through my collection I realised how many albums I bought. A lot from Tower Records. I highly respected the man who started it, even if his name will not come to me just at the moment. Solomon? Met him at a club in New York and found him to be a really good guy.
Most of them were in great condition because, who had time to listen to your own personal collection, when you had so many demos and the music you represented, to listen to.
That was always a great thing about working in LA. With the various distances you had to drive, you could always listen to music while doing so. No cell phones in those days!
Anyway, Tom and I chatted and I think it took 3 hours for us to go through the albums. I think he got a good deal. However, I am not complaining about what I got. I could have done my homework better.
Hard to let go of Elton John Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy, brown vinyl limited signed edition, which I was given when I worked for Elton and Bernie. And there are certain ones I have kept back.
Now as I go through about 600 + CDs, I find that most of them are in excellent order as well. And many are original releases. Again, many of them not played, because they were either in storage (as were my albums) for years, or for other reasons.
And selling on Amazon.com is a continuing learning process. Probably would have helped if I had read the "instructions", however, as Eddie Izzard says in his stand up routine about computers, when he gets a new Mac, he picks up the instructions and THROWS THEM AWAY!
I could compare it to black jack. You put a price, then someone else lowers theirs to beat yours, and so on and so forth. And obviously I am competing with people who sell on Amazon for a living, whereas I am selling mine to raise money for my art.
Certainly would recommend Amazon to anyone selling their CDs, whereas half.com, E-bay's company, where I listed about 20 has produced exactly zero results!