Re creating a life

I have just finished responding to the daughter, Sara of my father's best friend, Chris Button, who remembers that I used to wear long high heeled boots. She remembers so much about the house my other part of Dad's family lived in, when they returned from France (I was living in Los Angeles by then) and reminded me of the white carpet. Dad used to call me the sugar plum elephant, and for some reason I often was clumsy around him, so it will not surprise you to learn that I knocked over a glass of red wine on said white carpet.

Anyway, Sara's message started a train of thought, which meanders through many aspects, so bear with me.

Yesterday, my father would have been 84 and he died 20 years ago this coming May. I still miss him and it's a little difficult for me to realise that I have been trying to re-create a life since he died, and my world fell apart. He would be horrified if he knew how his son, David has used me (I turned down a job running a publishing company to help him), taken my money, destroyed my furniture (much of which were antiques) and helped him (he had no idea how to deal with lawyers, and his first one nearly landed him in contempt of court, so with the help of a friend, we found one of the best family law firms in Los Angeles) keep his two daughters out of the hands of a sociopath mother, but now refuses to talk to me, even though I have offered him peace messages twice.

With my mother's death when I was 5, my Dad was a wounded man, yet he somehow managed to find the will power to carry on. I don't believe he ever got over missing her. She was his first love. I wrote the epitaph for his grave stone "He was a remarkable man".

Deborah Fehin, was an Irish Roman Catholic and Dad, was a British Church of England, and neither of their families wanted them to marry. Dad had to wait until he was 21 before their wedding. And I arrived almost 9 moths to the day. Thank goodness I was not early, because eyebrows would have been raised! My brother David, came along 15 months later, and I used to spend quite a lot of time with my Aunt Dorothy, Dad's eldest half sister, her husband, Uncle Syd and my gorgeous cousin, Stewart. Stewart must have been about 7 when he had to share his bedroom with a small child, and we were always close. He was absolute gorgeous looking. A cross between Fabian of the US TV show 77 Sunset Strip (?), Elvis and British equivalent, Cliff Richard, however, honestly much better looking than any of the three. He inevitably had a smile on his face. Sadly, he died a few years ago, and his mother died just after her 70th birthday last year. She was beautiful too and they both had amazing twinkling blue eyes. Dorothy would chatter away and I have to say that I was sometimes mischievous and would say something outrageous, such as "Prince Charles has just land his helicopter in the garden", however, she would not pause.

A lovely, kind woman, and her husband, Uncle Syd was kind too (he only just missed living until he was 100), although had a habit of saying the wrong thing.

I have lost so many people who loved me. My Aunt Tricia, who died in 1999, and was the closest I ever had to having a mother, as well being one of my best friends.

These days, life is tough. I have gone from having a very successful, although not well paid career in the music business. I established The Chrysalis Music Group (and as one of only 3 Senior Vice Presidents with responbilities for all aspects of the record company as well, was paid only $35,000 a year, plus expense account, and I rarely managed to get back all that I had paid out) as a leading independent music publisher, with hits in pop, r&b, country (one year we received two ASCAP awards and Steve Cropper came up to me afterwards to congratulate me and let me know how unusual that was for a pop publisher). However, for some reason I always did well in Nashville.

Now I live in a Federally funded building on SSI.

I resigned from Chrysalis late in 1984, when Terry Ellis was bought out by Chris Wright, however, was asked to stay on. The explanation given was that they couldn't afford to lose a senior executive and a very high profile one as well, at that time. What they did not explain to me, was that if I had stayed on I would have received shares as they subsequently took the company public. And they needed (as they had many times before) to show that they treated women equally, and I was their only senior woman executive.
So I was cheated by a company I had been loyal to for nearly 10 years. I had turned down Joe Smith's offer to start the publishing companies for Nonesuch, Ayslum/Electra out of loyalty to Chris Wright and Terry Ellis and many other job offers. But they did not return that loyalty. Owen Epstein, US lawyer for U2 and Pat Benatar and who once described me as the most assertive yet rigorously honest negotiators he had dealings with (he had asked me to take a paying job at his firm, and he would put me through law school) offered to sue Chrysalis for sexual harrassment and for inequal treatment, but I was too heart sick to take that on.

I am heartened that I have so many friends who care about me, Franca Cavaricci, being one of them, who even though she is struggling is helping me and whenever we speak on the phone makes me laugh.

I have only recently returned from a trip to the UK, where I had a wonderful time (wrote a separate blog about it), however, learned on the Monday by email after I arrived there on Friday and was alone (my family had gone skiing for a week) that one of my closest friends, Tom Bolan (he was my Copyright Manager at Chrysalis in 1983 and remained a friend since then) had died. If I had been here, I would not have done as one of his so called friends did just call 911, however, would have, as I have many, many times before taken him straight to emergency. And maybe he would have survived if he had got to emergency sooner. The prior week I had taken him to his HIV doctor, and he was elated to learn that his viral load was so low, that he almost had no HIV, so he was healthy. The following week, he was in a panic and I went over to help him as I have many time befores with court papers he was filing for a woman, he detested, Cynthia Blatt - often while I was with him, he would not take her calls, because she constantly badgered him.

Three of Tom's other so called friends, Stuart Katsch (I appeared for him in court, when he should have, but had stayed on in France claiming he was sick and I won the case for him), Cynthia Blatt and lawyer, Rick Soares have taken action, which I can only describe as truly appalling. I was included in his will, which Rick Soares emailed me that I wasn't. A lie that hurt me. I was left the residue of Tom's estate. These three people made sure that that residue was simply trash and I know that was not what Tom would have wanted for me. I shall miss him as he was one of the few people, who with my mental disabilities I saw, and who I helped often as he had lost the cartilege under his left foot and could no longer drive.

I am heartened by the many friends who know me well, and who care about me. Franca Cavaricci being one of them. We make each other laugh about our woes. Cindi Hughes is another.

I paint watercolors now http://annmunday.finearts.com/ and my work is rapidly improving. Several of my paintings have been bought. And I have been offered the opportunity when I have sufficient pieces to have a showing in a local gift basket shop, who have wine tasting evenings.

I am also going into the voice over business http://voice123.com.annmunday , as I have an English rose voice (as described by a V/O agent) and a sensual one (listen to Hard Days Night) to help support me as I progress my art career. I have volunteered and recorded books for The Reading for the Blind and Dyslexic, including describing graphs, footnotes and diagrams.